dedicated to Yasuko Sugimoto

hello 🌑

great. I had written some really nice paragraphs and tried to save the post, but WordPress had an error and ~my writing~ was deleted. I don’t like writing anyway so I’m just going to dump a bunch of photos here and call it a day. Also, I have a few TV series suggestions for you kids.

IMG_2223

spring feelings, rapids on river Gauja in Gauja National Park 

This was a very interesting week by the way. In one week I got to see both aurora borealis and partial solar eclipse! What a time to be alive! [I’m fully aware such things have been happening since 4ever, but still what a time, what a time…]

IMG_2290

attempt at looking dandy/dapper or smtn

idk I’m bad at formal wear/school events, it’s hard to find +/- fancy clothes I feel comfortable in.  But. I have not failed at life. Because, you see, I now look just like my favourite anime character/crush from early teen-hood, which is Yasuko from Aoi Hana!!! okay, okay my fave is problematic and was a jerk to Fumi, but come on she is hella handsome.

akira-helping-yasuko-with-her-hair

omg omg look Yasuko is playing Heathcliff in their school’s adaptation of Wuthering Heights and Akira is brushing her hair with a toothbrush 

ok, but for real, how do kids even survive through the ages of 11 and 14 without watching anime??? Do they play basketball??? Sing in a choir??? Hang with friends???

I’m really into this j-drama 問題のあるレストラン (A Restaurant With Many Problems), which is about about a group of women and one feminine guy (not transgender) opening a restaurant and dealing with sexism in Japan. It’s about the restaurant and food, but really it’s more about those social problems, stereotypes, glass ceiling, sexual harassment at workplace etc. As any j-drama it has a lot of humour and seemingly childish elements, but still it has a variety of characters with different problems.

問題のあるレストラン

Kyoko finally stands up for herself in front of her jerk ex-husband

Screen Shot 2015-03-18 at 20.59.17

there is this one character who is really cute and girly and tries to ignore all the nasty things guys do to her, acting all positive and pretending nothing has happened, it’s really sad

Also, just today I started watching web series called Carmilla on youtube! They are super cool and very similar to Lizzie Bennett Diaries if you know those, just like LBD Carmilla is based on an actual book from the 19th century – this time about Vampires’s. Okhaaay, who cares about vampires anymore? Well I don’t, but oh god Carmilla? Also nearly everyone is gay there, yaaay, but it’s not central to the plot it’s just like they are.

I’m also thinking about watching Steven Universe…? It seems cool, and it has gems? I mean I’m already a geology nerd. Oh, yeah, also don’t let me go near shops that sell minerals and gems, just no –

IMG_2301

 okay, but how can you pass by agate???

Eli~

Wagner in dungarees

hey ☽

I’m still here. It’s just that this ain’t no safe space for me. It’s a public blog, sure it isn’t safe. It’s just that I’m still too weak, too self-conscious, only a tiny bit stronger than depression. Hypocritical too, I suppose, writing a public blog and only wanting a certain group of people to read it. omg ok, now I sound really ~sensitive~ or whatever. But maybe I should just accept it, add my sensitivity to the collection of ~aesthetics~. I rly like aesthetics tbh, I live for aesthetics. The weird ones tho.

I got new dungarees and decided my aesthetics were Tom Sawyer + Scout Finch + awkward queer kid. Some random middle school kids called me farmer Joe, that’s a good one though. Also photos in school’s bathroom are a part of the aesthetics too, aesthetics called ~lol, it’s like 4 months until school is over 4ever~. I do appreciate that our school has a pair of gender neutral bathrooms though, I don’t think they were made with non-binary ppl in mind, but still nice.

typical high school

I haven’t felt so me for a long time

Talking about bad selfies and stuff: Do not let adults steal this generation from you. Relish in selfies. Snapchat pictures of coffee to your friends, huddle around an iphone to watch Vines. Shamelessly love this generations commodities, like how your parents loved THEIR commodities, like disco or Hammer Pants or whatever else. Do not let angry adults take away your chance to experience the uniqueness of right now [source].

I’m rly tired of studying tbh. Except geography. Geography is nice, I love the part of geography where we learn about nature or geology related things. I’m really into rocks, seriously. I follow countless fb pages about minerals and can’t help, but like them all. I hope my friends appreciate the abundance of cute rocks and minerals on their newsfeed because they should.

Also, I’m angry as hell. the anger in me. the anger and hopelessness I experience in front of bigotry and ignorance and indifference. also the anger towards myself for not speaking up enough, for being so damn shy and anxious.

Also also, can ppl stop expecting all gender non-binary humans to be totally androgynous and thin and tall and claim they’re actually a girl if they wear a dress once? or expecting trans women to shave legs all the time and conform to patriarchal beauty standards? The inhabitants of this planet depress me so so so much.

Elephant glacier, Greenland

The Elephant Foot Glacier, this is a fascinating one, isn’t it?

You know, I actually have been considering becoming a park ranger. I know it isn’t an easy job, but a rewarding one, imagine being a ranger in one of North or South America’s majestic parks!!! DREAM!!!  It’s pretty said that the field of geology often is associated solely with oil exploration when it’s so much more than that. There’s environmental geology, astrogeology, seismology, glaciology, oceanology etc.! And you can become a park ranger with degree in geology, hah, I’m not saying I’m doing it, but it’s an idea!

another heart-warming quote for those having a bad year so far – i have a good feeling about 2015. woody allen is looking frail and i think with some positive thinking we can finish him this year [source]

evrvn

this me rn, some stock photo (almost wrote stockpot-that’s a nice food place over here in Riga) obvi

I have a huge list of movies to watch, but I don’t want to because they make me feel lonely and make my life seem uneventful, I don’t find an escape in them. Guess I’ll just sing along to Stevie Nicks and be content.

good luck to all of you poetic noble land mermaids (like Ann from Parks&Rec)

Eli~

free vegan dork-waffles for everyone

hey ☾

The year 2k14 is over and tbh I do not feel like reflecting on it. But this was a nice year! I liked it, I expanded my horizons, got to know myself better, did some things I had never done before and continued doing ones I had been doing long before.

IMG_1828

kk, I do realize my face looks obnoxious

IMG_1820

see I can now wear my hair both up and down and kinda up, ya, creative

I have no idea what to write, but I want to say that I am terribly excited for 2k15. I will graduate from high school and hopefully move to another country omg omg omg please please I need to get better marks and money to do that, but it seems possible.

Also, I hope that my health will improve next year. As in I am very healthy now and rarely get sick and can run and everything, but once in a while I have an outburst of atopic dermatitis and my skin becomes all terrible and I need to spend tons of money on medicine, which I hate because I hate supporting the pharmaceutical industry. Less stress. Need to stop stressing out about everything.

IMG_1786

nice ice

Also, nature. I hope to spend far more time in the nature next year. Into the wild! ya. That is something I really want to do. I just feel weird and disconnected from nature most time. Be out more, explore more, understand the Earth better, be excited, but not stressed, be present, concentrate, every time always concentrate.

Colour Green by Sybille Baier

Beautiful. It is really beautiful. Sybille, Joni Mitchell and Tracey Chapman and that is perfect and I could just listen to them and nothing else and be happy.

+ Winter is the perfect time to reread Moominland Midwinter by Tove Jansson. Beautiful. I don’t really have words to describe the book, it and other Tove’s works mean so much to me, ya ya clichè I know… But they do, my favourite books since I was 3 years old. I wish everyone would read the Moomin books, they are heart-warming and real and not constructed and unlike many others are not made with the single aim – to be a commercial success.

Moominland Tales – The Life of Tove Jansson

Also this is a sweet documentary about Tove’s life and about things that influenced her works and how all of the works are related to whatever was happening in her life at the moment of writing. Besides Tove and Tooti are the sweetest couple ever and they were together for more than 40 years!!! Ah, Tove.

++ my sister met Chris Hadfield and took a photo with him and he signed his book for her, which she gave her best friend, but didn’t get a book for me, ugh, disappoint.

I have to go now, it is getting dark, but me and mom and the pug are going to a forest. Sorry if this sounds hurried, might edit later!

IMG_1846

[EDIT: we saw 9 deers in the frozen crop fields and left carrots for them there, they were already eating the seeds in the fields so I do not think of this as of ~intervening with nature~]

I wish You a very very happy and interesting year and even happier years that will follow!

Eli~

my sister called me a hipster

hey!

okok, I am still très busy with school, but this Tuesday (The Latvian Independence day) me and mom and pug skipped the crowds in the city centre and the fireworks <-ugh, useless and bad for the environment! and went to the Kurzeme region, the ultimate destination – Cape Kolka!

DSCF2172

rocks are fun

rocky beach! The beach is covered in boulders and pebbles for several kilometres.

DSCF2181

seaweed is fun too, obvi

DSCF2188

sand candle in the wind

DSCF2211

incredibly green moss

IMG_1589

dry heather flower in the woods

DSCF2287

Kolka Cool

Photos of Cape Kolka look like photos of any random Latvian beach tbh, it is beautiful and windy, but there are no cliffs or anything that would make a person think oh, that’s a cape for sure. It is, however, interesting to watch the waves on the cape as they come from two directions and meet on the cape, you can easily see the place where exactly the cape is (because obviously there’s more sandbank under the sea).

Now, unrelated to the trip, but I feel that it is important to add that I have decided not to study physics in the future. I am proud to have challenged myself and my grades in physics are twice as good now as they were two years ago, but I decided it would be way too hard to study it at a university level, mostly because of the math part. Also I decided that what I really like and want to do and what actually feels like my thing is earth science/geology/ecology(?). I have always been good at geography and I like nature and want to understand our planet better and geologists get to spend loads of time on field and travel to amazing places for work if they do research (I’ve always wanted to go to Antarctica! But not like a tourist, you know?). Besides I’ll still have to study some physics as an earth science major!

Razzle Dazzle Rose by Camera Obscura

I tried to be happy, it wasn’t easy
When I choose my color, it will be
Razzle dazzle rose

No particular reason for posting Razzle Dazzle Rose, but it is one of my all time favourite songs and I was listening to it on youtube the other day and realised that I had never liked it on there or posted here so… ♡

And I am being boring again, but I have to go now, it is really really late and I have to wake up early for school tomorrow. Looking forward tomorrow night because I will see Manta live again! yas yas yas, my fav Latvian band, I hope u all know that, okkk. It should be noted that I went to a show of theirs two weeks ago… And I ran into my friend and ex-classmate Luīze there! Shout out to Luīze! Veseļojies, Lu, lai ātri sadzīst potīte!

 

 

Eli~

 

soft drinks are the most useless

so, hey ↷

Remember I said I won’t be writing often? See? I kept my promise. The reason I am writing now is because it is the autumn break or how do you call that in your countries and I kind of don’t have school. Kind of because I just returned from a physics consultation and after school math courses and on Wednesday and Thursday I’ll be going to school again because geography and chemistry consultations. Year 12 is no joke, kids.

But I like it. I really like studying, but thinking about the future stresses me out a lot, I actually kind of hate weekends because I feel like a huge wreck then. and I know I have to do homework. but I want to relax or smtn. and then I feel bad because if I want to be a rad physicist I should be learning all the time??? or not??? I’m so confused. Does that mean I don’t like physics enough??? AND WHAT IF I DON’T GET ACCEPTED AT ANY OF THE FOREIGN UNIVERSITIES AND HAVE TO STAY HERE, NOOOO NEVVVVER. MARK MY WORDS, THAT WON’T BE HAPPENING. No offense, Latvia is an adorable country, it’s cool, a safe space to live at, very little violence, can walk around at night on your own. I just want to GET OUT. TO SEE THE WORLD.

I decided that if by any chance my math is not excellent enough to do physics I could study something geology related, geology is the coolest.

IMG_1205

1.

IMG_1444

2.

IMG_1395

3.

IMG_1500

4.

The Moldy Peaches by The Moldy Peaches

The Moldy Peaches are so good! Kimya Dawson! I put up the whole album, but I guess my fav songs are Nothing Came Out, Anyone Else but You, The Ballad of H.Keller and R.Wan Winkle, also Lucky Charms. They are all cool, cheerful, anti-folk, lo-fi 4ever.

1. back in September I saw Manta live again, yaaay. It was only a month ago, but feels like forever. Also why is there an image of a hindu deity in the background?

2. I remember the night when i saw Manta very well because their performance was a part of an event called The Science Night when different science faculties were open at night and you could go see experiments and listen to some lectures. Also I became friends with Rainers then! yah, to think of it, kind of a best friend person at the moment. really weird as it is usually hard for me to become friends with someone, but with dat boyyy it was just like hah idk happened. We are kind of similar, but also really different, one thing I can’t understand is how he doesn’t like ~band music~ THAT KID DOESN’T LIKE ROCK’N’ROLL!!! [EDIT: We are not rly close anymore, but it’s ok! Not all friends need to be 4ever, but they all help me understand myself or the world better.]

3. loserface geek level =into the exosphere, buttt the mirror photo thing is kinda inception!

4. those aloe drinks are pretty nasty tbh. Way too sweet ehh, I like those jelly aloe pieces though. But real talk – what are soft drinks and lemonades made for?  I mean juice makes you feel fresh and is healthy [fresh juice], alcohol makes you dizzy [very bad, but has a purpose], tea warms you up etc, but soft drinks???

and plz no judging about useless selfies, I’m living the sad eyed grill life, also everyone knows Ezra Koenig is the coolest goth dad who’s not a dad and he lives the selfies lyfe, therefore I’m cool too.\

+ What’s your opinion on American Horror Story? I only started watching the 4th season a few weeks ago and I kind of like it, also Evan Peters looks soo much like one of my classmates!

Eli~